Tuesday, June 19, 2012

What is wrong with ice cream

As I sit here enjoying a nice root beer float for breakfast, I cannot help but wonder,why does the ice cream make the root beer foam so much and what can I do reduce the amount of foam so I can get an appropriate ice cream to root beer ratio in my glass? I quickly discovered that you need to add the ice cream first to prevent embarrassing root beer foam overflow. My current method is to put in the ice cream, pour in the root beer and suck off the foam on top to enable myself to add more root beer but it is very time consuming and I would like to enjoy my root beer float much quicker.

And I have a follow up question. Why do people even like vanilla ice cream (outside of the obvious root beer float of course)? To me vanilla ice cream is just so, well, vanilla. If I am in dire need of ice cream and only have access to vanilla I will endure eating it, but I will only eat it if I can cover it with chocolate sauce, nuts, peanut butter sauce and other non-vanilla flavors to mask the flavor of the vanilla, thus really only using the vanilla "ice cream" as a conduit for the toppings rather than for the ice cream itself.

And this makes me think of another follow up question. I was recently married (please see attached photo for your viewing pleasure). Our marriage is wonderful but we disagree about one very important issue and I am not sure how to work through it. My husband (so weird calling him that……) is an engineer for turkey hill http://www.turkeyhill.com/
I am pretty sure he just sits around making and eating ice cream all day, but he tells me he does stuff with machines. Anyway, he of course is fiercely loyal to his company and feels they have the best ice cream in the world. I much prefer the rich, decadent, cannot purchase very often creamery ice cream from Penn State http://creamery.psu.edu/
I mean come on, you walk into the store and some perky college girl asks you (as you purchase a gallon of the BEST strawberry ice cream which makes no sense since you are chocolate kind of girl but it is just SO GOOD!) how long your drive home is. To a newbie you might think she is just making conversation but to the experienced creamery shopper you know that she is calculating (she must be one of those weird statistics students) how much dry ice to provide you to keep your frozen treat fresh and icy cold your whole drive home (for me about 2 hours). You may be further amazed to realize that there is still dry ice in the bag when you arrive home, probably because miss perky college student calculated bathroom breaks, stops at chic boutiques, cow crossing (I do live in Lancaster Pa) and getting lost (I did just get some blonde highlights added to my hair) to further ensure that nothing could ruin my ice cream experience in the comfort of my own house (please note I write this in my PJ's on the couch while enjoying said ice cream float from 3 paragraphs ago while my husband (said it again, still weird) is outside doing something manly because thats what marriage is about right? and now I have lost track of when to close my parentheses………

<< 2 days later >>

Oh no…..things have taken a turn for the worse.

So last night my husband asked me if I wanted a root beer float, and like a normal person I said yes. I CLEARLY stated that I wanted some ice cream in a glass that was not too tall as to lose a spoon in, and that he should put the ice cream in first so he did not have a foam disaster and that I wanted my ice cream smashed with a spoon so it mixed with the root beer and I could have nice cold root beer sips with a tinge of vanilla bean ice cream flavor. I am not high maintenance, I am just a girl that knows what she wants. 

Well my "engineer" husband who has WAY too much time on his hands goes into the kitchen and I hear weird noises. I ignore them as I am too lazy to get up off the couch after working all day in my real job but soon piece together what is happening when I see a disastrous "root beer" float emerge from the kitchen. He thought it would be wise to take a 1/2 gallon of ice cream and blend it up in that thing we have thats like a magic bullet but without its own commercial and mix in a little root beer. 

He totally screwed up the ratios and gave me an unpleasant evening as I am lactose intolerant and should not be eating that much dairy but I did anyway because if I did not drink it he would and why should he get to have all the fun even if he screwed it up.


Is this marriage going to last?

Now tonight I am supervising him making dinner and had to explain to him that it was silly for him to buy 2 melons when I do not even like melon and he was all like well one time I saw you eat it somewhere and maybe you should write me a list of what you do not like and that is what I will do next…..as I wait for him to finish cooking me dinner. 

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